and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
