Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize