Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
