Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
worst night to have a conscience
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
