I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
