i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
