saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
