so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
