You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize