420 ftw
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
