he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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