My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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