If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
