he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
