So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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