I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
