would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
