so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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