ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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