Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
