They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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