Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
