just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize