I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
