Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize