at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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