No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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