I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How does it feel to date your dad?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
