Need sex. Gaining weight.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
