dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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