Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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