none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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