I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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