so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
