I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
