OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
