She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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