Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
