The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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