i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
