And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
