i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
