he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
