Don't you send me to vm
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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