addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
