I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Im just a social blackout drinker.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have aggressive nipples.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize