hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
