They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
