BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize