I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
