I accidentally had phone sex last night
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
