im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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