It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
