So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
