you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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