Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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