That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
