It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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