I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize