i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i barfeds in our rink
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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