I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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