You really coming over, don't trick.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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