i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
MIDGETS
????
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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