So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
