Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
is that a dick in a sweater?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize