Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
